Mary, the Mother of Our Lord

15 July 2021

Mary, Mother of Our Lord

I’m baaack! Vacation was awesome. Thank you for the privilege of being able to have one. But you know what? Vacation isn’t always easy. For example when you are a guy like me, and you unload all your stuff for camping to find out that the spot your friend decided to go camping is about 100 degrees in the shade, and you are the only guy with three women and eight kids. Do you know what happens to a tent in 100 degree weather. It turns into a solar oven. And I thought I got bossed around at church! You know what two words really started to bother me after a while? “We should.” Because whatever followed those words didn’t really matter, I knew it would involve me doing a bunch of grunt work. That’s when I remembered an old trick I learned in the very first parish that I served as a youth ministry. Once I tried to tell Stephanie, a parent volunteer what “we should” do. She looked at me and said, “Do you have a mouse in your pocket?”  

Have you ever felt emotionally worn down? Have you ever felt simply exhausted from listening to other people’s problems, and intervening on their behalf? If this is true for you, then you might actually be doing too much. It is possible you could actually help people more, by doing less. 

For example, a person with a problem may approach you presenting themselves as a victim needing help. Perhaps someone is being mean to them, or not giving them what they want. This person might be genuinely hurting, sad, angry, and at a loss for what to do. They may ask you to go and confront someone on their behalf. 

The problem is that when you confront someone on behalf of somebody else you may not help anybody, and might actually make things worse. Here are three reasons why.

1. By taking on somebody else’s problem you are not helping the victim to take responsibility for their own problem which encourages a helpless mentality and gets in the way of their ability to grow and heal. 
2. If you serve as someone’s proxy and confront the person they are having a problem with then you are actually not allowing the supposed perpetrator to really understand what happened or to make amends. When a person is confronted by a third party they automatically become defensive because it just became two against one. You might succeed at using your power or influence to manipulate the accused into some action, but it will likely be short term and not genuine until they get out from under your thumb. If someone really is in the wrong, they need to hear it from the victim directly. This will be infinitely more powerful than hearing it form a third party.  
3. Once you are known to be a “go between,” you will likely be approached again and again by apparently helpless people and you will see your own resources of time and energy depleted. This may feed your ego, as a big time problem solver, but it will drain your soul. 

Another course of action is to accompany people who ask for our help. Accompaniment means letting people solve their own problems but being there for them to encourage and witness. Accompaniment is the power of presence without the toxicity of manipulation. Accompaniment is what Mary, the Mother of our Lord does. We can look to her as a brilliant example of how to help people in their time of need. 

For the first thirty five years of my life I did not pray to Mary, the Mother of our Lord. I was led to believe that it was unnecessary and inappropriate to do so. I thought that if I had a problem I should go directly to God in prayer asking for help. Then one day everything changed. It was the year 2016. I was serving as a pastor in Santa Ana when life became very difficult. I felt overwhelmed by the challenges that faced me. Personally our family was expanding from small to big. Professionally I felt overwhelmed by the constant need I encountered from people. And publicly, I had never before experienced such a contentious time. To be totally honest I kind of wondered what God was up to, if anything at all. And then I had a dream.

The Dream:

I was standing in a large room. It was dark and there were luxurious curtains pulled closed in front of huge windows. It was the building of a head of state. Before me I saw a large table with men sitting around it. They are wearing expensive suits. Some of the men I recognized as famous and powerful. There were other men too, but I did not recognize them. The men were playing cards; poker I think. I was invisible to them, I stood there in front of them, but they did not see me, they did not care that I existed. They were totally absorbed in their game of poker. As I looked closer at the game I saw that they were not gambling with regular poker chips or money. Each of their bets was a piece of the world. They used countries, states, businesses, and industries as their currency. They laughed raucously and patted each other on the back aggressively as they gambled away. I tried to yell at them and tell them to stop, that it was not their right to bet away pieces of the earth. But the longer that I watched them, and the louder that I shouted; the smaller and smaller I became. I was an incredible shrinking man. Then I looked up and they were huge, like giants, and compared to them I was the size of an ant. I could scream my lungs out and they wouldn’t know. I was deeply saddened and depressed. In despair, I walked away like a bug.

I walked for a long time. I left the room and went outside. I walk beyond the city into the foothills of mountains. The mountains were beautiful in their form: rocky and tall. But they were also bleak: dry and without much vegetation. On a bluff, a hill, not at the top of the mountain, but only part way up there was a very large statue. There was a path leading up to the statue and I could tell from a long way off that it was a statue of the Virgin Mary. It was impressive. The statue was enormous. She wore a cloak adorned with stars, and rays of light were depicted radiating from her. She stood on a crescent moon supported by an angel. But the statue was plain in color. It was grey. 

I watched pilgrims make their way to this statue and pray to the Virgin Mary. I admit that I was very critical about this. I saw people climbing the path up the hill to this statue on their knees. By the time they reached the statue some of their knees were bleeding and they had worn holes in their pants. I shook my head and judged all of this as superstition and misguided faith. While I enumerated these criticisms my emotional well being descended to untold depths of despair. I thought of the reckless gambling and pillaging of the world by the leaders playing poker. I thought of the poor masses praying to an inanimate object for help and I felt completely miserable. Then somebody special appeared.

My wife Sheri walked up to me and put her hand on my back and shoulder and asked me what was the matter. We stood side by side facing the statue. I told her all that I had seen, and how senseless it all seemed. She listened patiently as she always does and then said, “If you feel this badly, then maybe you should try praying to her.” 

“To the Virgin of Guadalupe?” I asked, not believing that this would be acceptable for a Lutheran pastor to do. Sheri looked at me, smiled, and nodded. So I got down on my knees and began to pray. I closed my eyes and I asked Mary to help me, and to help the world. As I prayed I began to release and express the emotions erupting within me. I began to weep. My body trembled as I cried it. And then I began to feel warm. I felt arms wrapped around me. At first I thought that it must be Sheri hugging me. But the person hugging me had a pregnant belly, I could feel the baby gently kick me as I was being hugged! Slowly the pregnant woman released me from her embrace and when I opened my eyes it was her: Theotokos, the God-bearer, the mother of our Lord, the blessed Virgin Mary. No longer an image made of stone but a living breathing colorfully radiant person. I was filled with inexplicable strength. Then I woke up. 

Nothing external in my life had changed. I faced the exact same challenges. But within me I had a renewed peace and determination to do the things that had been placed in my path.

The Solution:

I also learned that I could be loving and gracious like Mary, and so can you! It may not be your job to solve other people’s problems. However, you may need to take time with people, to listen to them, and to just be there for them. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give to someone in need is your presence. Sit with them. Ask them if they want a hug, and if so give a hug. You really cannot solve anybody’s problems for them. You can be there for someone and give them encouragement. 

Everybody in the world has to take responsibility for themselves, put on their big boy or big girl pants and figure their stuff out. So when somebody comes to you with a problem, remember that it may not be your job to solve it for them. Your job might be to simply be a caring human being. Maybe all you have you to do is listen, be there for them, and encourage them. To walk with them for a while while they confront whatever it is they need to confront.

The Good News:

For as the earth brings forth its shoots, and as a garden causes what is sown in it to spring up, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring up before all the nations. 

Isaiah 61:11

For all of the hard work that we do, some of the best, most important and wonderful things in life just happen organically or seemingly spontaneously. That is what the Virgin Mary teaches us. Just as the Earth brings forth shoots, so did Mary bring forth God into the World. There are still many more good things to come. Consider Mary’s song: Justice, salvation, and peace will all spring up before all the nations. Mean people who gang up on others will be humbled and scattered. The high and mighty will be brought back down to earth, and power will be given to the lowly. The hungry will be filled with good things. The rich will share what they have. Israel will be a place of peace and hope and blessing for all nations, all religions, all peoples, according to the ancient promise of Abraham. Amen.